Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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