I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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