I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
