You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
