fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm passing your future prison.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
ttyl tear gas
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I want a musical about memes.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
