yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
