Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
