Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
