Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
