:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Randomize
