I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
