she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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