dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
