you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
