I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
did i walk over a car last night?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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