You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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