Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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