Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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