i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
