Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
