I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
