This is not my ceiling
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
