I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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