i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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