We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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