i think my mom watched the whole time
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
