Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
