my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The ass gains better be worth it
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