Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
