that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
