yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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