I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize