Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize