Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
