If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize