We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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