Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
