Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
