Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize