i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
