I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
