just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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