threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
