I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
only if we run a train.
done.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
