if you like me you must not know who I am
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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