I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
