im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
