doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
