I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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