Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
