I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize