We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
