He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
