i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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