I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i dont even know how to be here
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
