I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
