smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
