Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
either way he was missing a nipple.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
