So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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