It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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