She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
