There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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