if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Randomize
