break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize