Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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