Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Farmville is her only friend.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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