they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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