can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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