I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
ttyl tear gas
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
