I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
she pinky promised me she was 18
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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