try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
