Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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