Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
found the other keg... it's in the tree
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
