11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
