I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
