I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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